Are you wondering if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship? Here are some examples of toxic behaviors no one should tolerate. If you are checking most of them, then your gut instinct is probably already sending you warning signs from your soul. Your mind is working hard at rationalizing in order to keep the pretentious peace.

It is time to get educated on what the behaviors of a toxic relationship look like. Below is a list of emotionally abusive patterns from abusers. How many behaviors can you recognize and check?

Emotionally abusive people chronically dismiss and invalidate. They will:

• Distort your perceptions or your reality, while dismissing and putting you down

• Often tell you how you feel

• Refuse to accept your feelings

• Put you in the mode to constantly explain yourself over and over again

• Accuse you of being "too sensitive," "too emotional," or "crazy"

• Refuse to acknowledge or accept your opinions or ideas as valid

• Dismiss your requests, wants, and needs as ridiculous or unmerited

• Suggest that your perceptions are wrong or that you cannot be trusted by saying things like "you're blowing this out of proportion" or "you exaggerate"

• Accuse you of being selfish, needy or materialistic if you express your wants or needs (the expectation is that you should not have any wants or needs)

Emotionally abusive people purposely create chaos. They will:

• Start arguments for the sake of arguing

• Make confusing and contradictory statements (sometimes called "crazy-making")

• Have drastic mood changes or sudden emotional outbursts

• Nitpick everything - your clothes, your hair, your work, your friends and more

• Behave so erratically and unpredictably that you feel like you are "walking on eggshells"

Emotionally abusive people act superior and entitled. They will:

• Treat you like you are inferior

• Blame you for their mistakes and shortcomings

• Doubt everything you say and attempt to prove you wrong

• Make jokes at your expense

• Tell you that your opinions, ideas, values, and thoughts are stupid, illogical or "do not make sense"

• Talk down to you

• Be condescending towards you

• Use sarcasm when interacting with you

• Act like they are always right, know what is best and are smarter

Emotionally abusive people attempt to isolate and control you. They will:

• Control whom you see or spend time with, including time with friends and family

• Monitor your phone calls, text messages, social media, and email

• Accuse you of cheating and being jealous of outside relationships

• Take or hide your car keys

• Demand to know where you are at all times or use GPS to track your every move

• Treat you like a possession or property

• Criticize or make fun of your friends, family, and coworkers

• Use jealousy and envy as a sign of love and keep you from being with others

Allowing someone to treat you poorly is not in your best interest. These behaviors are hurtful and do not come from true love, which you deserve.

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I will leave you with these questions to ponder. What are the boundaries I need to reinforce? What is in me that accepts and tolerates these types of behaviors? Am I ready to make a change?

Sincerely, Vania

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash