Codependency is an unhealthy way that people attach to others by neglecting themselves, enmeshing with others, and where one or both people depend on each other for satisfaction and worth. You can overcome codependency by establishing healthy boundaries, taking care of yourself, and gaining a healthy sense of self. Affirmations help you create a new pattern of thinking.

The shift from codependency to interdependence is painful. In this phase, there will be people we might feel like are pulling away as they might not get us. That is ok. With our new found inner power, we often find ourselves proudly and even arrogantly at times, claiming our long-neglected boundaries. The pendulum will balance to a healthy state as you get better at asserting yourself.

In our healing journey it is important to recognize that some people will never hear our boundaries no matter how we express them. Some people will test our

our new limits because it will touch a pain that feels too raw for them to face.

Sit with us in our awkward confusion. We both will learn and grow.

Remember, your needs are not only unique to you, they are as important as anyone else's. This healing work of breaking the unhealthy cycles is not easy, but it is possible. You deserve to be free from behaviors that are keeping you down.

Helpful books on codependency:

• No More by Melody Beattie

• You’re Not Crazy– You’re Codependent.: What Everyone Affected by Addiction, Abuse, Trauma or Toxic Shaming Must Know to have peace in their lives by Jeanette Elisabeth Menter.

• The New Codependent: Help and Guidance for Today’s Generation by Melody Beattie

• Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw

Affirmations to help reprogram your old codependent thinking patterns

• I am comfortable saying no

• I allow others to take care of themselves

• I am separate from others

• I set limits for myself

• I recognize over-involvement in other people’s problems

• I know that people can manage their own lives

• I calmly allow things to unfold

• I am creating time for my self-care

• I am responsible for myself

I have created a unique 12-step program that helps individuals transform from the inside out to give you that solid foundation you deserve. If you are interested in learning more, click here for more information.

I will leave you with this question to ponder. What behaviors of codependency are getting in your way?

Sincerely, Vania

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash